I’m finding it hard to focus on anything today, so I guess nerves are really starting to set in. I spent most of the day yesterday scrambling around doing last-minute stuff and will spend today doing the same. I’ve tried to be productive and inch toward the completion of novel edits (SO CLOSE), but I’m struggling. I get really frustrated with myself when I’m not as productive as I want to be, which I’m sure will make the next couple of weeks an extra treat.
I got a text from my mom yesterday acknowledging the letter I sent her several days back, which only slightly alluded to surgery, mostly to tell me one of my cousins, with whom I haven’t spoken in years, is leaving for college soon. This is pretty typical of my mother, a vague acknowledgment of having received news but no acknowledgment of what that news is, no gestures of support or anything. Again, not unexpected, but frustrating. I’m trying not to become mired in my bullshit about family, but as I’m an anxious person, Anxiety Walrus is trying to remind me that there are five hojillion unrelated things to worry about.
Well, I can’t think of anything else to say at the moment. Here are some “before” pictures.
As you can see, nature seems to have played a mean joke on me and formed me in a Rubenesque ideal. I’ll have to do some work post-surgery to make dem hips less obvious. I’m a little nervous about looking disproportionate because of aforementioned tiny ribcage, but we’ll see what happens.