Top surgery – two weeks after

I’m not doing a very good job being up-to-date about my posts. My mood has been pretty shit in the past week. I originally started this post on Wednesday on my iPad, but for whatever reason the WordPress app doesn’t let me save a draft, so the post published prematurely instead. I decided to separate this post from the commentary post because they’re on two separate topics.

I was going to post Wednesday and say my pain is almost completely gone, but that’s not true today. I drove two hours across the mountains to Ellensburg Wednesday for a faculty seminar thing, and now I hurt.

TMI time. My RL friends might want to stop reading unless you want to know way more than you wanted to about my non-tits.

I’m one big scab, which is wildly uncomfortable, I’m having stabby nerve pain, and my nipple grafts hurt. I can’t tell yet whether it’s the actual grafts or the skin around them. It’s encouraging, true, but also ouch. The skin around the grafts is hypersensitive, like I can just barely touch them and they hurt, and the scabs, mixed with the dissolving stitches, are irritated. The incisions go all the way up to just below my armpits, so when my arms are down, they press against the scabs. Spending two hours in a hot car and sweating didn’t do them any favors.

My left nipple graft is also looking pretty gnarly. My left breast was bigger than my right one and had a very large mammary gland, so they had to do a little more finagling during surgery. While the right graft looks gross but (what I would consider) normal, the left one looks like it might be infected. I’m going to call the doctor on Monday and see if I can get in to have them check it. I don’t want to be too paranoid, but I also don’t want to lose the nipple.

At least my range of motion is better. I found last night that the skin around the scabs and on my upper chest was horrendously dry, so last night I slathered the scabs with Aquaphor and my upper chest with super lotion, and it feels a little bit better this morning. I’ve also found that wearing men’s t-shirts rather than women’s helps because the bottom of the arm seam is higher, meaning there’s some fabric between my arm and my armpit.

My energy level is not bad, but still not 100%. Still not sleeping very well, and my mood sucks. There are personal reasons for that, but the not sleeping and the lingering effects of the anesthesia sure don’t help. My appetite isn’t completely back to normal, either, but it’s better than only being able to eat crackers.

I’m trying to remember that it’s only been two weeks since surgery. It feels like a lot longer, because this has been possibly the two longest weeks of my life. I’m ready for things to go back to something approaching normal, but I’m not ready for school to start back up again. I hope next year I can get a full summer break without having body parts removed.

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