Gillian Key: The Hateread – Key to Redemption, Chapter 11 (NSFW)

[Image heavy post and very NSFW]

Y’all, this is a must read.

Walking back toward the house, Gillian reflects on the dimensions and texture of Perrin’s wang when she realizes she has other patients waiting. Remember her other patients? Me either.

Then “her empathy registered a weirdly hollow shift in the rightness of the world.” I can’t decide whether I like this phrase kind of maybe a little bit. If not for the word “weirdly,” it might be okay. She takes the time to reflect on the conflict between her roles in life, “Psychologist, soldier, or dumbass.” Not much of a conflict, really; the third one is clearly the dominant role.

She debates what to do. She decides against waiting in the car and honking the horn until someone from the castle came out because “Perrin might decide he was brave all of a sudden and come out to look,” and she doesn’t want to scream because “Gillian just wasn’t a screamer . . . well, except in bed. Damn! Blushed again.” I’m puzzled here. She has a gun, and moreover she has a history of charging off into the dark under way stupider circumstances, so I’m not sure why she’s freezing and scared now except that she’s about to actually have to defend herself in a dangerous situation without some swinging dick to do it for her.

Nope. Never mind.

kid sighing

It’s just Bullwinkle, who I could swear has been officially named, but Gillian is just calling her Moose. Since Gillian is going to continue to mockingly objectify this character, I’m going to keep calling her Bullwinkle until someone reminds me of her name.

Despite the fact that it’s now established that Bullwinkle is a fey who’s under a curse, Gillian keeps thinking of her as a hideous, tragic creature (her words, not mine) and, about half the time, “it” rather than “her.” This is so fucking gross.

Oh, apparently Gillian knows her name (Tuuli) but uses it selectively. As a trans person, this has a depressingly familiar undertone of people calling me whatever pronouns they feel like at the time or conveniently “forgetting” to call me by my chosen name.

After some awkward pantomime to figure out what Tuuli wants (because remember, she can’t talk), Gillian…GASP…calls Aleksei on the brain phone for backup. Wait, why the fuck didn’t she do that before? Who knows. Anyway, it sounds like Aleksei et. al are still dealing with Oscar, whatever that means.

Tanis shows up to call her “piccola sorera,” which I assume means “little sister,” and ruffles her hair. It’s fine if you want to portray them as having more of a brother-sister relationship now that they’re not fucking, but of course Tanis is still the creepy patronizing dickbag he always has been, pointing out that she smells like sex. Wait, oh…you have to see this.

Ebony eyebrows rose. She didn’t just smell like sex; she was emanating sex like a beacon and it was permeating the area. And where was that music coming from? It was remarkable. Probably her patient, the one Aleksei was so angry about. But the music was indescribable. It sang to every cell in his body. Tanis felt himself unwillingly reacting to whatever she was putting out.

Almost immediately he was full and needy, his ardor nearly tenting the tight blue jeans he wore. His focus on Gillian instantly became more intense. “Gillian, stop it! You need to stop it!” He grabbed her shoulder and gestured toward his groin.

animated erection

Gillian’s eyes widened at his tone and at what he was indicating. “How the hell did that happen?”

“You are giving off an erotic flare like I have never encountered, and you need to turn it off!” Frowning, he looked around as he picked up on the oppressiveness she was feeling. His face darkened even more as he closed his eyes, concentrating, scanning the area and trying not to think about fucking Gillian’s brains out in the gravel parking lot.

flare

phallic solar flare

nuclear explosion

disbelieving laugh

Lestat laughing

What even is going on here? I’m having flashbacks to Han and Chewie working on the Falcon in Empire and Han yelling at Chewie to turn off an exploding electronic part. I think this is honestly the funniest scene I’ve read yet in these books. Tanis is shaking her and yelling at her to turn off her sex vibes, whatever the fuck that means, and she has no idea what he’s talking about.

Tanis tells her to go back to the house with Tuuli because “I do not know if you are in more immediate danger from what is coming toward us or from me.”

Um. Gross?

I’ll get into the sexual politics of this later on; right now I’m just giggling at the sheer melodrama of this. Gillian figures out that the “erotic flare” is Perrin’s glamour, which somehow transferred to her, I guess? As they’re talking, the other menacing threat is building, and Gillian dithers long enough that she doesn’t have time to get back to the castle. Three figures appear, and Tanis stands in front of them fastening and unfastening his belt like your friendly neighborhood flasher at the bus stop (what, you don’t have one of those?). Gillian points her gun at them…

…and then Tanis says, “You are like a sex goddess signaling to her devotees, Gillian. You are attracting them; however, it is not blood they want.”

gkzo7ro

disbelieving laughter

Oh my god you guys. Is Gillian a sex goddess now? Holy shit.

Jenna turns up, and Tanis starts fucking her on the car hood regardless of the fact that there are three mysterious beings nearby that they were all afraid of until now. Dalton the fey turns up and IT JUST GETS BETTER oh my god I can’t breathe

“There was no mistaking the gold, orange, blue and violet hair of the Prince of the Light Court. The three things were still coming but moving very slowly, almost as if they were in a trance. Dalton began singing in a remarkable voice, blending seamlessly with the music that was pouring from the piano in the guesthouse, staring at her. No, he was staring at Moose. Uh-oh. The prince had an unfocused look in his wonderful lavender eyes and a hard-on down to his knees from what Gillian could tell at that distance. Worse, Moose was staring at him with undisguised adoration and honking provocatively.”

Hard-on down to his knees.

HONKING. PROVOCATIVELY.

Kimber and Pavel are also nearby, “engaged in what could only be described as puppy . . . love.” Wait, is he in wolf form? The narrative doesn’t say, but I’M SO CURIOUS. If she’s going there, I have to admit, that’s bold.

Every single moment I’ve spent reading these books has been worth it for these couple of pages.

Gillian is looking around her like

a guy gesturing around him as if to ask, what the hell?

Of course Aleksei turns up, and they immediately start boning. Apparently everyone has forgotten that there are STILL THREE MYSTERIOUS BEINGS lurking around, presumably just chilling as they watch Unexpected Orgy.

Oh! Apparently we are going the bestial route, because Dalton is being ridden by Bullwinkle, who I guess is starting to turn back into a fey? I have to clap for a minute at Gryphon’s boldness for going this route. I’ve never read shapeshifter porn that involved either partner in animal form unless it was fanfiction (like, ALL the fanfiction).

So, presumably everybody gets off, and Perrin’s music stops. End chapter.

WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE MYSTERIOUS CREATURES

Takeaways

Jesus. Christ. I have never laughed so hard at the unintentional hilarity in a book. It was fucking amazing. And yet, there are sins. Oh, yes, there are sins. Time for a buzzkill.

So Tanis walks up, the music starts, he gets a Magical Boner. He tells Gillian repeatedly to stop putting off sex vibes. He screams at her. There are many exclamation marks. He says, “I do not want to take you by force, Gillian. I cannot control this feeling. Please. Leave.”

a mustard container looks like it's vomiting

 

a bear holding its paws up and text saying "how about no"

“I can’t control myself. You need to stop tempting me before I rape you.”

dont rape.jpg

Presumably if you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you’re feminist enough to know what rape culture is, but if not, here are two good explanations. tl;dr the idea that it would be Gillian’s fault if Tanis raped her because she’s putting off sex vibes and he can’t control himself because of them is so. fucking. not. okay. It’s hideously sexist and dangerous to women and insulting to men to even imply this, much less build it into your fucking world. Presumably, Gillian was only saved from being raped by the sudden appearance of Jenna, who threw herself on Tanis’s dick before he could throw it into Gillian.

The fact that the book is trying to portray him as valiant for resisting raping her is fucking disgusting, too, like he earns good guy points by not inflicting sexual violence (again–let’s not forget the time he started fucking her in her sleep). You don’t get cookies for acting like a good fucking person.

In sum, I’m conflicted about this chapter. The obvious rape culture bullshit is utterly disgusting and rage-inducing, but jesus, the absurdity is hysterical.

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